When you seek out a therapist, do you usually ask what their life experience has been?

I know that I’ve rarely been asked that. Usually, if anything, potential clients ask me about my credentials and areas of expertise (which you can find on my website). Transparency about the therapy process is absolutely important for both client and therapist to develop good rapport, and for therapy to become a safe place for the client. And so, my goal is always to be transparent about what the therapy journey looks like. But if I’m asked about my personal life, I hesitate for a moment. My first thought is to inquire how would this information help my client. Why do they feel the need to know this? Is there a benefit to sharing that information?

On my graduate program, I was taught that maintaining strict boundaries between therapist and client was not only important but absolutely necessary. Therapy is about the client, their problems, and their goals. Not about the therapist. Reality, however, is not that black-or-white. Sometimes we [therapists] do need to share some information with our clients… to strengthen our connection with them, to lower their defenses and clarify their doubt — for them to truly feel our empathy and understanding. Only then, I feel safe in sharing something along the lines of: I know that what you are going through is absolutely hard. I really know.
There’s something…